The Power of Best Possible Relationships (BPR) and Keystone Conversations at Workplace

Every Best Possible Relationship hinges on specific core elements. First, it demands psychological safety, where one can trust that expressing thoughts, questions, worries, or errors won’t result in repercussions. Second, the relationship must radiate “vitality” and inspiration, striking a balance between support and challenge, fostering meaningful work, and encouraging continuous learning and growth. Lastly, BPR must be “repairable,” with the commitment and capacity to mend it when damaged, averting escalation. Safe, vital, and repairable relationships yield improved well-being, work performance, retention and engagement.

The “Keystone Conversation” centres on five questions for establishing shared responsibility in relationships. Phase one involves self-reflection, followed by a conversation with a co-worker. These questions bridge gaps, create safe discussion spaces and enable relationship adjustments.

1. Strengths: Identify your core strengths and amplify them for fulfilment.

2. Working Style: Understand your preferences and collaborate harmoniously.

3. Past Success: Analyze past successful collaborations for valuable insights.

4. Past Challenges: Learn from past conflicts to avoid recurring patterns.

5. Conflict Resolution: Address conflicts openly, bridging gaps for relationship repair.

Try plotting out your “good at” activities and “fulfilled by” activities in a matrix chart. Along the horizontal axis, list “good at” activities, low to high. Along the vertical one, the chart “fulfilled by” activities, low to high. This will give you a visual picture of your strengths: the things you do well and find fulfilling. You may also see, over time, some new strengths emerge: things you find fulfilling that you get better at doing over months or years. By using the amplified question, you can uncover and leverage existing strengths, talents and successes to foster growth, engagement and better working relationships. The more you play to your strengths, the more fulfilled you will feel over time.

Start with understanding what makes you, you. List your pet peeves, the times of day you’re most productive, how you think about projects, how you like to run meetings and any communication quirks you might have, such as avoiding eye contact. When you know yourself better, it’s easier to establish boundaries, say no to things that don’t work for you and say yes to good opportunities.

Consider the context of the relationship: Did a positive work environment or sharing a common background contribute to the success of the collaboration? Finally, write out the challenges you faced with this other person and how you resolved those conflicts together.

You must practice speaking up when things are not going smoothly, even when you fear the other person will not admit or see there is an issue. Remember that acknowledging and discussing challenges allows for better awareness and the opportunity to repair the relationship.